This is an application that a 17-years old boy submitted at a McDonald's restaurant in Florida, and they hired him because he was honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company's president or Vice-president. But seriously whatever is available. If i was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the firstplace.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSTION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
Salary: Less then I'm worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collections of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
AVAILABLE TO WORK: Of course! That's what I'm applying.
PREFFERED HOURS: 1:30 – 3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they are better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “ Do you have a car that runs?”
HAVE YOU EVER RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may be already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes?
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job, no: on my breaks, yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I.'m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: yes. Absolutely.
SIGN ARIES: Aries.
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